Adventures of KJ & the Dreamy Giraffe

I got nudged.

2007-03-01T19:15:13Z

Actually I got nudged probably two weeks ago now and I'm sitting in my sister's bedroom, waiting on Kaylee to wake up from her nap, here at the computer.

Usually when I'm at a computer, it's mine, and there's a very long to do list nearby staring me in the face, along with about 98707343 different colors of acrylic paint and 2870782 blank canvases, all calling for me to play matchmaker and chastising me when I procrastinate by trying to read my friendlist or anything frivolous like that.

But now, there is no to do list in sight, or paints, or blank canvases, just a sleeping toddler. (Oh, adorable sleeping toddler, why do you choose to be asleep when the best aunt in the world arrives to visit you?)

So I decided to read all the 87087232 entries that all of you have written in the past however long LJ will let me go back. (Actually, I usually catch up once every other week or so, but still, that's a lot of back entries!)

And while reading, I decided, why not do a quickie update, as well?

Actually, everytime I even think about LJ, I get all guilty and other bad feelingsy because I still owe Jazz and Amanda paintings (and I SWEAR, you guys, one day, will get them). But, lo and behold, people keep paying me to do art, so those people's art somehow always jumps ahead in line, and the guilt and bad feelings grow. But it's not just you two, I swear. My mom got Kaylee a toy box for Christmas that I was supposed to paint and it's still in the box and Lisa's Christmas present hasn't even MADE it into the box yet, much less into the mail, much less to Lisa. And, yes, that's the present for the 2006 Christmas. Yikes.

The good news is, I'm trying to take some time to stop and smell the roses now and again, as they say. It seems I'm actually doing this, being an artist, for a living, now, and it's more of a marathon instead of a race or some other running analogy that would mean that there's not really a finish line and I just get to keep going and going and don't need to look for an end because I don't want to stop. This is what I want to do for the long haul. And that's how it seems to be going. So.

I don't really have anything new and exciting to share. Haven't fallen in love, haven't made any babies, haven't dropped to a size two and been asked to compete on America's Next Top Model. But I am sort of living my dream life anyway, so: One thing at a time. The rest will come.

Ooh, I did turn thirty, and managed to do it without having to take any sorts of medications for depression or anxiety.

Oops, Kayboo is waking up. Gotta run.

KJ

P.S. Thanks Bruce and Lauren for the sweet card and e-card, and Jess, for noticing that I'd been missing for quite some time.

I'm such a bad Livejournal-er.

2006-10-26T22:51:52Z

Once I fall off the wagon, I really fall off the wagon. Remember when I was thatkgirl and would do like three or four entries somedays?

These days, most days I feel like I have nothing of importance to share with the world and on the days I do have something of importance to share, I'm just too busy to share it.

Nothing major has changed.

I have a monstrous headache, the kind with nausea. We went to Redbone for the first time in probably two months and the thought of my beloved Mexican Pizza Dip made my stomach cry. So no Mexican Pizza Dip was consumed. And going to Redbone without Mexican Pizza Dip is like the episodes of 90210 without Dylan. It can be done, but really, not so enjoyable.

Speaking of Dylan -- and this doesn't make any sense -- though I have this monstrous headache, I have iTunes playing "Nobody Knows Me" (you know, that Lyle Lovett song that plays after Toni gets killed?) and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody on the television at the same time, both with the volume fairly loud, because obviously with nausea, these sorts of headaches bring impaired judgement. I've never watched this show before and it makes me weep for 2001 when the Disney Channel actually had programs that were, you know, good.

Also, at lunch, The Nicest Girl on the Face of the Planet turned to me and asked, "So, are you dating anyone?"

She asked this with a straight face. Which sort of made me wonder if it's been so long since she's seen me that she thought I was someone else altogether.

Of course, the conversation topic before that line of questioning was He Who Shall Not Be Named in This Here New & Improved Journal, so, um. Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that.

Except who would have ever thought I'd ever get to hear that He Who Shall Not Be Named said "she hasn't called me back" where, y'know, I'm the she.

Life is weird.

In unrelated events, last week, I got asked out by a seventeen year old.

These things could only happen to you, says TNGotFotP.

Yeah, this has made no sense. See: headache, nausea, impaired judgement, with a little PMS thrown in for good measure.

Plus, you know, I'm such a bad Livejournal-er, I haven't posted in so long, I've forgotten how to do it properly.

And curses, I've got to have a three page short story written by tomorrow.

Blast.

#17.5: Tight squeeze.

2006-10-05T00:33:46Z

Perhaps "I'm going to update everyday" is a wee bit too ambitious for this particular time in my life.

I'll do the best I can, and when I'm done with the teaching gig, I will go daily.

For these next few weeks, I have the drive and determination to conquer every little item on my to-do list, but there are only so many hours in the day, man. Trying to get everything I want to get done in the time I have to get it done is a bit like trying to fit my thighs into size two pants. It'd be divine, but: not happening.

This is the last time I'm going to say it, but truly: Jazz, Amanda, I've not forgotten about you, and Bramblerose, you WILL get the story I promised, too.

pentimenti @ 2006-10-03T19:50:00

2006-10-03T23:50:03Z

It's been almost a month since I updated.

Well, I updated the Friday before last, and you may've seen that entry if you happened to be perusing your flist within five minutes of my posting it, but probably not because I went back and privated it v. v. fast. Because it was a Ye Olde ThatKGirl Emotional Volcano Eruption/Spewfest and these days, I save that drama for my momma. (Chrissues, OH NOES!)

But from now on, I'm updating daily. Erm. I'm going to make a real effort to update daily.

But this once-a-day thing was supposed to start yesterday and I had good intentions but then I got one of the phone calls. You know, the phone calls that go like this:

Caller: What are you doing right now?

You: Um, eating?

To Do List (heard only by you, as one of those inside-your-head voiceovers): DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! PLEASE, OH, PLEASE, THIS CALLER PERSON IS GOING TO TRY TO DRAG YOU AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE DON'T LET THEM! I'M CO-DEPENDENT!

Caller: What are you doing after you eat?

You (stalling, because you can't say I'm striking off number 289707892734 on my to-do lists without sounding like you care more about your to-do list than the caller): Um...um...um....

Caller: I need some moral support.

To Do List: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, YOU'RE LEAVING ME! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T GOOOOOOOOOOOO.

You: (still stalling): Um...er...well...

Caller: I really kind of need to talk.

You (because you are a good friend): Okay. Let me finish dinner and I'll call you back.

And you (you being me, of course) are such a good friend indeed you wolf down aforementioned dinner at such a breakneck speed, you come so close to choking yourself to death you can still feel the dang noodle stuck in your throat three hours later. For real.

So, it was, of course, a Boy Issue, because the only time anyone ever asks me for advice is when some sort of penised-individual is involved and as I asked She Whom Shall Be Referred to as "Caller" for the Intents and Purposes of this LJ Entry Only, "Why do you call the most cynical single person on the face of the planet for L-O-V-E advice?" That makes no sense to me. Which brings me to the only advice I, the most cynical single person on the face of the planet can give you about boys (not love and not romantic relationships because on those topics I got nada and don't really want any, either): Don't try to figure out why they've done what they've done. Just don't. Actually, that wise bit could apply to females, too. You won't get inside someone else's head and trying to make everything mean something will drive you straight to Crazyville.

Mi madre kindly suggested that I have a "free counselling session with purchase" sale in the shop. But, really, I got some free doughnut holes out of the deal, so I can't complain too much. (And if I was going to complain it would be about the fact that the doughnut holes aren't exactly on the list of foods one should eat while one is trying to lose weight, as I am, but you know, it didn't occur to me at the time to say, "I'm happy to have you repay me for yanking me out of the comforting arms of my to-do list with foods, but could we please go by Wendy's instead of Krispy Kreme so I can have a garden salad, no dressing, instead?" Besides Tina Yothers said that eating a hamburger isn't the end of the world, diet-wise, you just need to do more exercise that day and that's that...and she should know, what with having done Celebrity Fit Club and all.)

Actually, this entry was supposed to be written this morning, as well, but then the toaster oven kind of caught on fire. And here's another tip of the day: Don't eat a waffle that's been cooked over an open flame, because it will not taste good.

I was supposed to udpate about the turtle, and myspace being evil and such. But all that was three weeks ago -- and three weeks that each seem like a lifetime, at that.

Do you know what I've been doing and what I'll be doing for the next two and a half weeks? Teaching. Teaching HIGH SCHOOL.

And my darling little Kaylee turned one year old.

She loves music and dances whenever any is played, is strangely mesmerized by any commercials for medications and gets this big, adorable grin on her face when she sees Snook from A Big, Big World (a PBS show that doesn't have any merchandise available!). So Aunt KJ painted her a scene from A Big, Big World for her birthday:

There are only seventeen precious minutes until Gilmore Girls* and my to-do list is very bloated and whiny, crying out for me to strike at least one more item off before 8:00, so I must bid you adieu. But I will be back tomorrow!

*I cannot be the only one that wants to smack Lorelai. And in other television show outrage, Kelton CANNOT DIE.

We now interrupt this journal for a brief but important opinion:

2006-09-10T19:06:16Z

Myspace is evil.

I will expound on this subject later.

[hugs lj]

Okay, I just have to add:

EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL.

I wasn't even TRYING to get myself in trouble. Everyone's all oh, you need a Myspace for your art, you need a Myspace for your art.

So I created a freaking Myspace for my freaking art.

And I won't even get into the rest of the story, but Myspace IS evil.

Is this #16 or #17?: Maybe Numbering Is Too Advanced For KJ

2006-09-08T15:15:19Z

I feel rotten. Just weird and un-alert and groggy and foggy and like I've just woken up, but I've been awake since 5:00 a.m. I think it would help if I had someone to thump me on the head and say, "Girl, pull it together, you've got Too Much To Do." But, alas I'm home alone (faceslap and scream insertion here).

Question for the masses: Why is jelly on toast a pretty normal thing to eat, yet the idea of jelly on plain bread (by itself) is disgusting to me?

Also, just in case you didn't know: Turtle poop is disgusting.

I have so much to do.

But I really just kind of want to take a nap.

#15: Adventures in Turtle-Sitting (& Various Interactions with Friends)

2006-09-08T11:50:12Z

Wednesday Night:

(Paraphrased Excerpt From) Instant Message Conversation With Friend

Me: I'm turtle sitting.

Friend: Who has a turtle?

Me: Apparently, I do.

Friend: You're not sitting it if it's yours.

Me: It's only temporarily staying here. Our very stupid dog was carrying it around in the yard, in his mouth, like it was a ball and we were playing a game of catch and I had to chase him all around and rescue the turtle. And now I'm nursing it back to health. Well, I'm watching it back to health. Well, I'm actually just waiting to see whether or not it's dead, and if it's not dead, I will release it back to nature, preferably to a part of nature where Buddy can't reptilenap him again. I really don't think he's dead. Just traumatized.

End (Paraphrased Excerpt From) Instant Message Conversation With Friend

This was not a little turtle, either. Here's a picture of the turtle:

Though you can't really tell how not little he was. I suppose I should have laid out a tape measure next to him, but one never thinks of doing such clever things until it's too late. I did, indeed, return him to the wild last night, as he proved to be Just Fine, and I don't want to traumatize him further by hunting him down and taking him hostage again so that we can recreate the photo shoot, with a tape measure. I mean, it could not have been fun to be trapped between those gigantic elephantdog teeth while said elephant trounced around the yard, full speed ahead. Especially since when elephantdog trounes about, he likes to shake his head from side to side like he's attempting to sling his brain out of his ears.

And yay! I have lights SuperUncle came and fixed the problem and also brought me a 12" miter box and saw.

Friend, mentioned above, asked me, "What are you going to do with a saw?" and I don't think I ever answered her, so, here is your answer Friend:

I'm GOING TO CUT THINGS UP! Duh.

Thursday Morning:

(Excerpt From) Telephone Conversation with Friend

Friend: "Hi, I just wanted to tell you I'm not dead."

Me: "Okay, well, I'll stop mourning, then."

End (Excerpt From) Telephone Conversation with Friend

Second yay: Friend was calling to give me some Very Good News Indeed (more on that in another entry).

Thursday Afternoon:

(Excerpt from) E-mail from a Friend:

Also saw your ad in She. Nice big one.

End (Excerpt From) E-Mail from a Friend

The Dreamy Giraffe has its very first print ad, y'all! Hurrah! I'll scan it in and post it when I get a copy of the magazine.

But, as a sidenote, if you've not talked to someone in so long you think they might think you've gone dead? That's probably a bit too long to have gone without talking to them. But it is always good, if you've gone that long without talking to someone, to call them up with Very Good News Indeed.

Edited to Add: I have gotten the opportunity to recreate the photoshoot with Mr. Turtle. Because Buddy had him again last night. And again this morning. And the little dude is still alive and kicking, it would seem. However, it's not even 8 a.m. and I can't have a photoshoot this earling in the morning, but I did get out the measuring tape and give you these accurate dimensions: Mr. Turtle is almost six inches long and five inches wide.

And I feel like I'm in a tunnel. I can't wake up this morning. WAKE UP, ME!

(I said no more entries about You-Know-What and I meant it, but I have to slip in here: She did it to herself.)

And that's all I got.

(Those are, by the way, three different friends, just for clarificationy purposes.)

#14 Snurtles and reindogs and turkats, oh, my!

2006-09-06T10:30:24Z

This is a cartoon of a line of stuffed animals I've created.

Here are two of the real deals:

and you can see more pics of them in the shop if you're so inclined.

And if someone could explain this to me, I'd surely appreciate it.

http://www.ljtop.com/lurker_s_first_post_the_princess_book_169295742.html

(By "this", I mean, what exactly IS ljtop.com and how do they get their stats? 'Cause this little KJ is like HUH?)

(Unlucky) #13: Thomas E., where are you, dude?

2006-09-06T09:49:29Z

This will be the last entry about Big Brother ever. I promise and swear. (By "ever", you guys know I meant this season, right?)

So, last night, with a forboding knot in the pit of my stomach, at 8:00 o'clock, the television was turned on, turned to CBS and Big Brother came on.

All went swimmingly until the first commercial, when I made the grievous mistake of deciding to go to my bedroom and get 2.2 minutes of work done. This is why they probably tell us not to mix business with pleasure, kids. Because: Things go awry.

I flipped the lightswitch. There was a pop, or a hiss, or some other ungood noise -- I'm not great with the onomotapaiea, so your smartsmartsmart brain will just have to conjure up an approrpiate sound effect, for this particular scene in KJ's Big Home Movie, please. I should probably add, just for detail, to help you along, that it sounded a bit like a lightbulb blowing out.

Only. Both lightbulbs blew out.

And no new lightbulbs would rectify the situation. Meaning that something is either wrong with the switch or the fixtury-thing, which is just not not not something that has me jumping for joy, because have I mentioned that I don't have any windows in my bedroom? So it's like being in a big black abyss, with a computer screen floating in front of me, and I don't want to be a Whiny Girl -- but it's starting to give me a bit of a headache.

Anyway, as I was quite verklempt about this whole in-the-dark thing, and wasn't really watching anyway, I decided to tape Big Brother and try to call my uncle, who knows how to fix these sorts of things (at least, I hope). About twenty some odd minutes later, I still hadn't gotten ahold of him, so I thought it would be a pretty smart thing to go ahead and turn Big Brother back on, because really, what could I have missed? And what little I DID miss in those twenty some odd minutes, I could go back and watch at nine.

WELL. When I turn the darn television on, what do I see? What do I see right before my very verklempt own eyes?

I SEE WILL ON THE COUCH WITH JUDY FREAKING CHEN.

And what will be made in The Dreamy Giraffe studio (not to be confused with The KJ Budoir, which -- not to dwell -- is lightless and therefore nothing will be made there today) this sad, sad Wednesday, September 6, 2006?

Yes, that's right. A buxom blonde voo doo doll. And if any of you are so inclined to stick a pin through her head, I'll be happy to let you do it for the low, low price of $19.95. (Hey, a girl's gotta earn a living.)

(I'm not serious.) (About the Janelle voo doo doll.) (I'm serious about everything else.)

The good news? This means I'll get to see him on The Early Show this morning.

The bad news? I'm so far gone, I WILL watch him on The Early Show this morning. I've never watched an evicted houseguest on The Early Show, that I remember, and definitely not this season. Not even Kaysar.

There'll be another entry momentarily for all of you, but especially those of you who don't watch Big Brother and don't care about such trivial nonsense.

And then I'm off to party like it's 1899.

KJ Loves You (But NOT Being In The Dark)

#12: The formatting is awful I know.

2006-09-05T23:59:13Z

And I swear I'll fix it as soon as I have, you know, LIGHTS in my room. If I were the kind of girl who swore and threw things, words and objects would be flying right now.

Question: What do Justin Timberlake, Big Brother, and the Biggest Dog Ever have in common?

Buddy the Big Black Dog

This is Buddy, as seen through the glass door of my studio. He likes to hang out on the steps, any steps, actually, and peek in glass doors. Quite the voyeur. This doesn't show his massiveness at ALL, but it will have to do, as two seconds after I snapped this shot, he tried to leap through the glass door of the studio. I'm not sure whether he intended to eat me or my camera, but either way, I'm not taken anymore chances and my career as a canine paparazzi is OVA.

Illustration Friday (Yes, I know. It's Tuesday)

The topic was SAFE and I had an idea, which I illustrated, but I'm posting it anywhere except here, like in the LJ IF community or on the Illustration Friday website, because, quite frankly, it's a little sad and I'm a little ashamed of myself.

(I know, I know. He's evil and bad and I shouldn't be sending good vibes his way. But: Good vibes, good vibes. I'm going to try to remember all the horrifically embarrassing entries over at the old journal about how much I adored Rich Cronin's eyebrows and not say anything further, because when we crush on inappropriate Z list celebs and blather on about it, admitting it in black and white slobbery detail, we live to regret it.)

An Open E-Mail To The Person Who Dared To Call Me Out On Livejournal About My Exuberance for Peanut Butter Cool Whip & Marc Worden's Voice:

Dear Person Who Dared To Call Me Out On Livejournal About My Exuberance for Peanut Butter Cool Whip & Marc Worden's Voice:

I'm refusing to answer any e-mails about Justin Timberlake, as I fear being involved in any way in such madness may ruin my street cred.

BUT, just let me say, the other morning there was nothing on television because Lifetime took off Designing Women (which I think we should start up a letter-writing campaign about, btw, 'cause that's like CBS taking Big Brother from their summer line-up), and I put it on VH1's video wake-up or whatever it's called and there was this very obnoxious song playing and I said to myself, "Self, get up and turn off that very obnoxious song RIGHT NOW before your ears cry."

So I got up to turn it off and saw that on the screen, it was, of course, Justin Timberlake. That song is very obnoxious. And it may just be me, but I think it's also obnoxious to name your album FutureLove/SexSounds or whatever the heck he called it. (And, yes, I KNOW it's FutureSex/LoveSounds, but to tell you the truth, out of the two, I like my version better.) It's, in my opinion, such an attentionho move. Look at me, look at me, I can be provocative, and I'm too adult for the eleven year olds now.

But that's all I'm going to say about Justin Timberlake.

Love,

P.S. Really I do love you. But even Britney got over Justin.

Answer: I wrote about them all in this entry! Mwaa haa!

#11: My Favorite Number

2006-08-31T23:30:17Z

Sunday through yesterday, I was in Charlotte visiting my favorite almost-one-year-old in the whole wide universe, or I would've updated sooner. I can't imagine having kids of my own and I don't know if my heart could take it. My heart just feels so big when I think of that little girl, I don't see how it would be possible to love someone anymore without it just bursting. She dances now, and is going to start walking any second, and her little giggle...sigh...Mush, mush. Love, love, love my little Kaylee-bird.

Cool Stuff Going On With Me 101

- I have prints at my Etsy shop now (examples below) AND I made my first three sales last week. Whoo! It was needed, since I was starting to fall into quite the everybody-hates-me-I-guess-I'll-go-eat-worms-or-however-that-goes sort of place, only I was eating the most most most I can't even think of an appropriate adjective to describe it comfort food known to man (see KJ's Tip of the Day for the recipe).

- There's an interview (an interview!) with yours truly up at this blog, which I absolutely adore and am honored to be apart of. (In it, she mentions that my blog is here. I am only sharing this because I sort of feel like I'm cheating on LJ with his slightly more handsome brother, and lying to all LJ's friends about it, but I DO indeed have a blog at Typepad. It's fledgling. Two whole entries. I haven't decided quite what I'm going to do with it. I don't want them to be exactly alike, but keeping up with two totally different online journals would be next to impossible for me, probably. The deal is, I want LJ to have sort of a personal slant (In other words, I don't necessarily want everyone from my real life wandering on over...) and the Typepad (which is the one linked up at my website and everywhere) I want to keep more businessy and less hey-look-in-my-window! So I'm not exactly sure, but it's there.) I just reread that paragraph and I have like five sets of parentheses. Parentheses in parentheses in parentheses. ANYWAY.

- I'm sure there's got to be more cool stuff going on with me than that, but I can't think of what it is, so if you know of anything, please do share!

Examples of Prints:

(I certainly don't want this LJ to turn into the sort of LJ where people reading it will feel like they've called up their good friend KJ and gotten Telemarketer KJ on the line instead, so I don't want to jump about and yell in your face that you can get all this, plus a Ginsu knife for only $19.95, but the prints are 13.00 bucks a piece and if you put "pentimenti" in the notes to seller, I'll toss in free shipping, but wait until I send you an updated invoice before paying. And there will be no more sales pitches from me, because I don't want to turn any of you away in disgust. You dialed the right number! It's Good Friend KJ! Really, really, truly, truly!)

Shoot, I thought of something else cool going on with me, but I have immediately forgotten it.

Cool Stuff For You Guys 101

(If anyone was expecting this part to involve me giving you money, diamonds, or cars, I'm sorry. I am Good Friend KJ, but I'm not Rich Friend KJ. If I was, though: Money, diamonds, and cars all around!)

- Writely. When I originally intended to share this with you guys, it was by invite-only, and I was going to invite everyone, because when there's a party you know about it, it's nice to do invite everyone, unless it's a party thrown by those Season Three Laguna Beach girls, which I'd really think it's nicer to shield folks you like from that sort of soiree, throwing your body atop theirs and shrieking "no! don't go!" while clinging to them with all your might and what not. Can we go back, back to the beginning? Because LC was likeable and stuff. Where was I going with this? Oh, Writely. I am in fact writing this very LJ entry from Writely. Writely is kind of like MS Word, only it's online, and you can publish your documents or keep them private or post them to your blog or collaborate with your friends and since it's online, you can access your Very Important Files (and Not So Important Files) from ANYWHERE. Well, maybe not Mars. But certainly from your sister's house in North Carolina. I know this, because I've done it my very own self. Writely particularly comes in handy if you tend to write books with your friend Lisa, alternating chapters between the two of you. It's especially wonderous if you've written these "joint books" for years and only have chunks of each one, because of various computer crashes, slackness about saving on to disks, writing through e-mails which AOL ate, etc. No one paid me for the above pitch, and I'm not getting a dime or a kiss if you sign up, so technically it's not a sales pitch, 'cause you know, I said: No more of those. And I meant it. If you want to check it out: check it out!

- Various LJ resources I think are varying degrees of funky & cool: LJ Cheat Sheet, Everything You Need To Know To Customize Your LJ, LJ Book (Turn Your LJ Into a PDF -- Coolest Thing EVER), LJ Seek (Search Livejournal!), and The Find-Out-Who-Has-Unfriended-You-or-Friended-You Thingamajig You All Already Know About.

And...

KJ's Tip of the Day

(The words KJ's Tip of the Day should be said in a booming, echoey sort of voice. But that's not KJ's tip of the day.)

Get yourself some peanut butter, some cool whip, a bowl, and a spoon. Put some peanut butter and cool whip in the bowl and mix it up with the spoon. And eat it. Then go back for seconds, maybe thirds (if you're using the low fat PB and the fat free cool whip), then send the thank you e-cards to kj@thedreamygiraffe.com. This will change your life, people.

KJ's Second Tip of the Day

Don't do the peanut butter cool whip thing if you have peanut allergies, please.

KJ's Third Tip of the Day

Those aren't my images, I borrowed them from Google, I don't claim them as my own, please don't sue me, I don't have money and the thought of having any sort of interaction with a law firm makes me itch and squirm.

Why I Feel Like I'm Stuck in an Episode of Clifford The Big Red Dog

I have a new pet elephant, who thinks he's cleverly disguised as a Black Lab, but in fact, his sheer bigness gives him away. Pictures will come as soon as I trust him not to eat the camera during the photo session.

A Sneak Peek At Tomorrow (Tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow....)

(More about this little lady and her four friends at the other b-l-o-g already.)

Oooh, and yeah, I made up this little book type deal about Princesses in my art journal and you can see it here, if you so desire.

Have a good night, and think of me, as you watch Big Brother, since it seems our CBS affiliate is preempting it for round-the-clock weather updates, which would be cool, except it's not even raining. Of course, at 7:59, our CBS affiliate will most likely decide to return to regularly scheduled programming and then it WILL start to drizzle and DirecTv will go out, and I'll miss Big Brother, anyway.

Ooh: Jazz and Amanda, your prizes ARE being worked on, I promise, and Bramblerose, your story is being written, as well!

#10: Meet Miss Cleo & Mr. Clyde...

2006-08-23T13:38:25Z

This has got to be the most unLively Livejournal in the history of Livejournals. I update on Thursday and then before I can blink, it's Wednesday. Wednesday!

I could write an entry a day, but they'd all read like this:

5:00 Got up

5:00 - 7:00 Did Computery Work

7:00 - 9:30 Worked Out, Ate Breakfast, Fed Bumper & The Beast, Got Ready

9:30 - 12:30 Worked in the Studio

12:30 - 1:00 Lunch

1:00 - 6:00 Worked in the Studio

6:00 - 8:00 More Computery Work

8:00 - 10:00 Various Television Programming, Depending on Which Day It Is

The exceptions are: If it's Friday, I'm probably running errands and/or having lunch with the girls; If it's Sunday, I typically don't do anything productive until after 1:30 or so; and the once or twice a month we go see Kaylee, The Adorablest Almost One Year Old Ever, for a day or two. And yes, "Computery Work" does include all internetting, but in my defense, most of it is business-related. Ooh, and throw in various five minute intervals here and there for worrying about money.

See? Boring.

I may have to start bungee jumping or rock climbing or swimming with alligators once a week to spice it up.

But here's something sort of cool I've been working on...

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a two-headed giraffe!

Thanks to all of you beautiful people who threw out an opinion and helped me out on Thursday. The Super!Monkey is now in his new home, where I've just learned he has been officially named Peaches.

Later: Some Cool Stuff Going On with Me, Some Cool Stuff for You Guys, KJ & The Dreamy Giraffe's Tip of the Day (In Lieu of Personal Gripes Delivered Ad Nauseum ala thatkgirl, and Why I Feel Like I'm ~~Stuff~~ Stuck in an Episode of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Have a lovely Wednesday, kids!

ETA: Goodness, the typos.

We now interrupt this regularly scheduled LJ for an opinion poll...

2006-08-17T15:18:16Z

Any dear, kind soul that's reading this between now and this afternoon at 5:30....I really (really really really) could use some input as to what you'd pay for the supersnazzy supermonkey in this (http://pentimenti.livejournal.com/1006.html#cutid1) entry.

I promise I won't be hurt or offended at your response and if you say you'd pay a million dollars for him, I won't send you a Paypal invoice and hold you to it. :)

I have no idea what to charge.

#9: Evil Doctors, My Not-So-Evil Twin, Twin Dogs & Inspirational Teachers

2006-08-15T00:18:10Z

I tried to write this entry 5000 times (approximately) and it was very yawnworthy all 5000 of those times, so I decided to spice it up a bit, by writing it as a fairy tale. So it might not make a whole lot of sense. And I'm not really a princess!

one:

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess named KJ. One day, Princess KJ, while surfing the internet on the royal computer, innocently perused messageboards, as she did quite frequently. This day, in particular, she found herself at the Etsy forums and things were going swimmingly, until suddenly Princess KJ shrieked, which brought the attention of all the court security guards.

Why, Your Royal Highness, what ever is the matter? Did you see a mouse? Do you feel faint? they asked, worriedly. Princess KJ pointed at the 1001 inch monitor (because could you really expect a mere 19 inch one in a castle, for Pete's sake?), where, as big as life, was a picture of...Princess KJ...as someone else's avatar! The king and queen's advisor was brought in, to weigh in on the situation, to offer advice as to what should be done to rectify the wrongdoing. Should the villian using Princess KJ image for their own evil purposes be drawn and quartered? Or merely thrown into the dungeon?

Beg pardon, Princess, the advisor, a sage old man with eyes as sharp as a tack, said, But that is not you in the picture. Note that she wears no crown and also, her hairstyle has no fringe. The Princess tilted her head right and left, and left and right, and said, Perhaps you are right! No, no, you ARE right. That isn't me.

There was much concern that maybe the Princess had a twin, stolen at birth by the evil doctor*, unbeknownst to the King and Queen, and spirited away to live life as a commoner. But upon further research in the castle's library, it was found that indeed, this girl, nearly identical to the Princess in countenance, was a total stranger named Tanja, born several years before Princess KJ in a foreign land** and now living in New York City.

"But, but, but," Princess KJ sputtered, "That girl has my face."

Princess KJ felt much better after the Far Away Land - Big Apple liason put her in touch with this similar-appearanced lass and the two spoke and Princess KJ found her to be quite lovely, in personality as well as face***.

* Not the same evil doctor in Three.

** Germany! I was so thrown off when I first saw the picture, I told my mom, "She's from German! She's from German!"

*** Hee.

two:

At another time, in the same far away land, Princess KJ was resting in her royal sleeping quarters when the Queen cried for her to come quickly, that there were two USC's (Unidentified Swimming Canines), romping about in the moat. Princess KJ, quite the animal lover, ran out, to the happy surprise: One of the USC's bore a striking resemblance to the dearly departed, much beloved court pooch, Matt. In fact, though still a pup, this animal was just as much Matty's twin, in looks, as Tanja was to Princess KJ! The animal and his companion, a beautiful Chocolate labrador, were friendly and loving and it was decided that they would make wonderful court pooches. A kingdom-wide celebration was planned and the animals were bestowed with the names Bonnie and Clyde. The Princess loved them instantly.

Sadly, and some times sad things do happen in fairy tales, as you are all aware, the kingdom crier, came 'round the next morn, shouting, "Hear ye, hear ye!", and upon gaining everyone's attention, announced that a notice had just been sent forth from the Duke of Springville, a kingdom a hop, skip and a jump away from Princess KJ's, that his court pooches, one Chocolate labrador and one black labrador, had taken off in the night, and begged for their return.

Being a fair princess, though it hurt her verily, Princess KJ returned Bonnie & Clyde, also known as Cocoa and Pepper, to their rightful home. And though it's frowned upon for a royal to utter such unpleasantries, Princess KJ did say, under her breath, "What a stupid name Pepper is for a little boy dog!"

three:

An even longer time ago, one of Princess KJ's dearest confidants, The Nicest Girl in the Whole Entire Kingdom, urged Princess KJ to submit her artwork for publication in one of the kingdom's publicatoins, a monthly women's magazine that featured a different painting on the cover every month. Oh, no, Princess KJ protested, again and again, before finally giving in and sending some of her work to the magazine's editor, who telephone to say that she would like Princes KJ to do a painting for an upcoming cover! This may seem unfair to you, you know, as if Princess KJ had an unfair advantage, being royal and all, because, realistically, had the editor said you have the talent of a rotting potato!, that could have been considered treason and Princess KJ could have had her beheaded. However, the editor did not knowthat Princess KJ was a princess at all, she thought she was just a regular old commoner. So Princess KJ did the cover in October 2005, and that was wonderful and unbelievable, and then she was asked to do the February and April covers as well, which was even more wonderful and unbelievable. Then Princess KJ fell under an evil spell in which all of her paintbrushes fell right out of her fingers when she tried to pick one up! She could not paint to save her life! What shall I do? she wailed. Then the telephone rang, and it was the editor, asking if Princess KJ would possibly do a cover for August's issue. Princess KJ, though unable to paint, said, Yes, of course! And she picked up her paintbrush and found the evil spell broken.

(That is the August cover of She! and I've been asked to do January as well. It may be unPrincessly of me, but let me just jump and shout a little! Ooh, and in next month's issue, here's going to be an add for The Dreamy Giraffe.)

Four:

WARNING: This brings us to a very, very scary part of our tale, a part so horrifying, it should not be heard by children at all and the faint of heart should be held closely by a loved one so to be protected from too badly a fright.

In the castle, there is a magical viewing screen, which allows the princess to view what is going on elsewhere in the world. One of her favorite times to watch is on Sunday, Tuesdays, and Thursdays when the screen shows what is going on in a house full of commoners in California.

One day, while watching, Princess KJ began to grin everytime one of the commoners was shown. But this commoner was a villian, an evil doctor*, and Princess KJ knew that she should not be grinning when her gaze fell upon him. Yet, she did.

Now, a wordly, poised princesses do not get the thing commoners call a 'crush', and they especially do not get these 'crushes' on non-royals. And this evil doctor was NO prince, though he was certainly charming.

And thus Princess KJ grinned and grinned and grinned**.

Until one day, an evil villian (not to be confused with the evil doctor) named DirecTv robbed the castle of their access to certain channels on the magical viewing screen. The channels with the people who won the lottery, the channel with another doctor who is McDreamy, and the channel with the evil doctor. This happened on a Thursday, which was quite upsetting to the Princess, because that was one of the days that she got to watch the lottery people, Dr. McDreamy, and the evil doctor.

It was all she could do not to throw herself to the castle floor and tear her clothes and wail, "B-b-b-ut I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MY EVERY-OTHER-DAILY DOSE OF THE EVIL DOCTOR!" But she showed restraint.

She did not throw herself to the castle floor, she did not tear her clothes, she did not wail. She merely whimpered inside, as a refined royal does.

Fortunately, after the Queen threatened to slap DirecTv around a little if he didn't back the freak off, the magical viewing screen was restored to its normal state and Princess KJ got to her every-other-daily dose of the evil doctor***.

And they all lived happily ever after.

* goddessisa asked me if everyone calls him Evil Dr. Will or just me, at which point I pointed her to Google where you can search "Evil Dr. Will" and find approximately 98798732 links, none of which come from my website, which is www.thedreamygiraffe.com.

**It ISN'T a crush. I swear. It's more of a fascination. No, that's not right either. An enjoyment. There, that's better.

*** I like not-evil doctors, too, like the ones on Grey's. Though I really like Burke better than McDreamy.

#8: I'm not a complainer. I just must speak up when things go awry.

2006-08-14T23:11:39Z

After waiting what seemed like, oh, 500 years for inkjetmall.com to ship out my order, and being delighted to learn this morning that finally, at long last, my package would arrive this very day: The UPS truck just drove right by my house.

Drove. By. My. House.

Outrage!

If I weren't wearing a very unbecoming pair of black and white baggy capri pajama pants, with a hideous palm tree pattern, with hair that air dried*, and nary a stich of make-up on my face, I would have gotten in my car and chased after him, and you know, what in that brown truck, he wouldn't have been difficult to follow.

Oh, and goddessisa is all: You were supposed to update Friday and you didn't, blah blah blah in that lovely nudgey best friend way, so, even though she seems to be the only one that doesn't know by now when I say Friday, I mean Tuesday, that update is to soon to come.

You know, right after I rewash my hair so I can fix it properly, slap on some make-up, change clothes, and go on a mad UPSdude hunt.

If he's reading this: You're on my list, buddy. And also: Bring me my paper!

Also also: My intro-net is being very slow, though I can't find a way to blame that on UPSdude, as it is all my fault, because I thought it a wise idea to try to download one of Tim Gunn's podcasts using AOL dial-up. By the time it's actually finished and I can listen to it, old age will have set in and I will have lost my memory and be like, "Who is Tim Gunn and why does he keep telling me to make it work?"

In the good news: Got a LOT done today. Whoo! Twenty-five paintings ready to be turned into prints, which of course, only brings us full circle to the ugly fact that a certain brown truck is holding my paper hostage.

Free KJ's paper! Donna Martin graduates!

* I do not have the sort of hair that you can air dry without looking like one of the Brady boys.

Edited to Add: The braniacs at inkjetmall.com put the wrong address on my package. And now it will be this time Wednesday before I have my package. The hilarity is our normal UPSdude, who lives in our neighborhood and is aware that I indeed live at 661, not 660, which doesn't exist, regardless of what the branaic who shipped the package wrote on the package, had today off. So, had this package been delivered any other day, there would not have been any problem at all. But, of course, we are in an alternate universe known as KJ's World, where, snafus are like magnets and I'm a freakin' Frigidaire. However you spell it.

Wheh, woe is me. (I originally typed whoa is me, hello Joey Russo.)

#7: Evil Doctors, My Not-So-Evil Twin, Twin Dogs & Inspirational Teachers Teaser

2006-08-10T23:14:50Z

These are the topics for tomorrow's update, kids.

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's supposed to be today's update, but I'm having a stomach...thing right now that's making it incredibly uncomfortable for me to sit here, and impossible for me to sit here and write something that doesn't read like...like...like something that's not amusing at all. So, tomorrow, it shall be, if I'm not, you know, at some sort of hospitalish place, having someone poke and prod me to figure out whether or not I'm actually pregnant with a baby hippo.

Please wish on every star you see that I'm not pregnant with a baby hippo, that I don't have an enlarged internal organ, or anything else going on inside my belly that would require me to spend large sums of money on medical treatment. I don't have large sums of money to spend on medical treatment, though, to (credit to Miss Lisa from coming up with THIS phrasing) be honest, I wouldn't mind letting a certain dermatologist check me over for bumpy moles (but only if it was a free consultation).

I didn't just admit that. I'm not well! Keep in mind I'm not well.

(And, yeah, pray it's just gas.)

I didn't say that either.

In fact, I wasn't even here today, you saw none of this, you read none of this. In fact, when I post tomorrow, comment and accuse me of being a rotten, slacking liar, 'cause I aid I'd update again today and didn't.

#6: That Dreaded Left Eye

2006-08-09T21:36:29Z

Oh, my. I haven't updated in...weeks. How'd that happen? I'm fairly sure July only had 21 days, instead of the customary 31.

Okay, so that Guess What Part of a Painting KJ Hates Doing Contest...no one got it, though some people came close. Applause, applause! I was going to give further hints, but since saying anything else would have pretty much out and out given it away.

Anyway, I said: If no one guesses correctly, for the first two people who guess, I will make a less time-consuming (probably a drawing or collage) piece of art for you.

The first and second to chime in were jasmines97 and makemeabeliever, so girls, let me know what you'd like your drawing or collage to be of. You can comment here, or e-mail me at kj@thedreamygiraffe.com and we'll come up with your lovely prize.

Oh, and the correct answer is the title of this entry.

Further explanation?

That's an excerpt from the April She! magazine*, which just about covers it, albeit in a nice way, without the use of the phrase "white-hot hatred" in connection with my left-eye avoidance.

*She! is a regional magazine for women that features a different painting on the cover every month. April was my third cover. Info on the fourth (!!!!) coming to lj near you** very soon.

** That would be this very lj you're reading right now!

Tomorrow, kids, a real live post, with stuff about...real life!

Wishing you all pizza and puppies (if you like pizza and puppies) from her little computer stool in SC,

KJ

P.S. What kind of dork puts footnotes in her footnotes? Really!

#5: Find me a deodorant that can beat this heat.

2006-07-19T19:49:51Z

It is so hot either I'm crying about it or my eyeballs are actually sweating.

And my air conditioner is making a noise that I'm almost positive is a dead-on impersonation of a choking moose, which cannot be a good thing. Of course, being a (Late) Fall/Winter Girl, the only good things, in my very humble opinion, about summer are fresh blueberries and Big Brother, both of which I would gladly sacrifice to have it be December all year round. I mean, you can buy canned blueberries at any grocery store and honestly do any of us really need Julie Chen in our lives three times a week?

And! It's storming!

This art-free, complaintfest of a post is brought to you by humidity, July in South Carolina, and a girl who really doesn't like her eyeballs to sweat.

Much love!

#4: Painter's Block

2006-07-18T20:46:35Z

Yesterday, it was like I had a magic paintbrush. I finished two paintings, both of which I loved.

But today, it's like: Little girl, stop kidding yourself, and get thee back to the law firm.

I keep trying all day, despite the fact that everything was just coming out all wrong, and all I have to show for it is a bunch of half-painted faces and the nice beginnings of a headache. That sounded v. v. v. whiny. I'm not being whiny, I promise!

This is the girl who loved too much. Ignore the grey edging on the left side and bottom. Obviously I am inept with the cropping tool today as well as my paintbrushes.

And Rapunzel. I normally don't paint blondes, but I like her quite a bit.

#3: You can do it, put your brain into it!

2006-07-18T10:57:24Z

I love painting and drawing. I do. This time, last year, everyday was all "ahhhhhhhhhhh! ack! oh, noes! uuuuuuuuugggggggggggggh, phoooooooooooooooey, whoa is me!"* in terms of on-the-job stress and now when I work, I can wear whatever I want**, I can talk as much as I want***, I can even have old episodes of MMC playing in the background, if I want****. Of course, I'm not getting paid the big bucks***** like I was back then, but sooner or later, I think I've discovered, life's gotta stop being 95% percent about planning for the future and 5% doing what makes you happy now. You've got to find a better balance, or at least I did. Not to say life's all fun and games. I'm working harder than I was at that law firm that shall remain nameless, longer hours, and the immediate rewards do not include a steady paycheck or someone else paying the bulk cost of my health insurance, but I am so lucky to be able to do this. Right now. Right now, I have enough to get by, to make ends meet, to pay my bills. If that changes in the future and I have to do something else, get a part-time (or even a full-time) job to supplement, then I am certainly go to do so. But right now, I'm just trying to be fearless and get this done and put my heart and soul into it so it can last. But even if it can't and doesn't, even if I do have to go back to the 9-to-5 working for the man thing, I'll still be doing this every available waking hour, and I'll know that, if nothing else, I had a wonderful, amazing year to be an artist and nothing else******.

I'm trying to appreciate this more and realize how remarkable and amazing it is that something I've always wanted to do*******: I'm doing.

But that's not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is...dunh dunh dunh da! It's Audience Particpation Time!

I love painting and drawing, but...there is one part of my paintings and drawings that I absolutely dread doing. I don't know why, either, but I always try to put it off as long as I can. The first person who can guess correctly what that is will get their very own custom KJ painting. Whatever you like, let's say, on an 8" X 8" canvas. If no one guesses correctly, for the first two people who guess, I will make a less time-consuming (probably a drawing or collage) piece of art for you. Yay! (Yay?) So, guess your little hearts out, all, oh, what's the flist up to now? Two? :)

* Do you need actual examples? I'll be happy to give them!

** Somedays, I even just go over to the studio in my pajamas!

*** Although intelligent conversation isn't really possible, as there's really no one around to talk to but myself.

**** There's no cable in the studio, so I have to rely on a) the tempermental cd player or b) VHS tapes! for background noise. It's a good thing I have 3897078123 (approximately) video tapes. Yesterday while I painted, I listened to Friends, Brotherly Love, and a whole buncha other stuff.

***** Hmm. HA!

****** Well, not NOTHING else. I mean, the (jokingly) new slogan for my little cottage industry is, "The Dreamy Giraffe can paint you a picture, write you a story, chauffer you around, edit your paper, fix your electronics, sell your antiques on eBay for you, cut your hair and babysit your kid...but can absolutely not, never ever, solve your relationship problems." Or something similar. And, yes, there is someone on this planet who actually let me, nay, insisted I cut their hair.

******* I have been FOILED. I was sure that in that list I did in the old journal, cleverly entitled 101 Things I Want To Do In My Life, I'd put down "have my own artsy/craftsy business". Well, no, it's not there. But all of these goals are present and accounted for, and I think they pretty much cover it: 42. Be my own boss. 29. Have a fully stocked craft room in my home. 31. Get a job I love. 41. Stop letting fear hold me back. 37. Stop procrastinating. 60. Get really good at drawing. 76. Stop talking and start doing.

Not that I'd call myself "really good at drawing", but I have improved. I know that somewhere I listed "have my own artsy/craftsy business" as a goal and I searched the journal to see where it was but found 90something entries with "business" in them and I cannot go through 90something entries at this moment in time to prove that I am right.

But I guess I do need to consider number 90, on that list, which is "Always come up with new dreams, to take place of the ones that come true."

#2: Home, Sweet Home

2006-07-13T11:40:37Z

1) Thank you to everyone for your sweet comments in the last entry.

2) It's a studio tour!

I feel weird calling it my "studio" but here it is. After I decided to do this "for a living" and my supplies outgrew the shoeboxes under my bed they'd been living in, my parents generously let me convert Aunt Mamie's old trailer into a workspace. It was already paid for, so there's no mortgage/rent. I just have to pay for the electricity, which is a very small price, if you ask me. The back half is pretty much still storage, but we're going to get around to converting that sooner or later, which is a good thing, since I realistically fear once I get a sewing machine, I'm gonna require even more space. Anyway, technically it's a studio/library, as you might have guessed on your own without me telling you, from all the books.

Pictured here: A work in progress, my "palette" (fancy, no?), caffiene fix of choice, and reference images, because I've not seen enough cowboy hats up close and personal in real life to be able to draw them from memory. And let's not even get into the rocking horse. Someone, who shall remain nameless, really needs to stop trying to draw and/or paint animals. (That "someone" would be me, in case anybody was confused.)

Pictured here: My work table from a distance, which really looks smaller than it actually is; one, two, THREE Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi cans and a bottle of water; a wide variety of cups (none of which contain beverages -- I'm really not THAT thirsty, I swear); paper, paper and more paper, books, adhesives, trim, paper cutter and so on and so forth. This picture is really not good but I'll try not to whine about how I need a better camera or, failing that, photographer. If you happen to see something and can't tell what it is and would like to know, feel free to ask and hopefully I'll know what it is. That black and white board thingyy says "Ker Knows All!" -- Kerr, but it should read "Kerri Knows All!" -- Kerri and was from a project I was working on, oh, around Christmastime and some letters have fallen off and ran away since. I should change it, or at least replace the missing r and is.

Pictured here: Medicine bottles, filled with doodads, on a shelf I ingeniously (if I do say so myself) made from a bedrail -- there's another one also stocked with medicine bottles full of doodads on the adjacent wall, which I didn't take a picture of --; my first She! Magazine cover; my beautiful and brightly colored cup collection which houses my stash of pencils, markers, crayons and every other type of drawing utensil known to man; ribbons, more books; and my tempermental cd player.

Pictured here: My WIP/Done shelving unit where all the half-finished and finished projects go to rest; and my wood wall, which is both a wall made of wood and a wall where all my pieces of wood are stored until I'm ready to pretty them up. I've been staying away from canvas lately and using only wood, so my supply really needs to be replenished.

Not pictured at all: My fabric corner, because it's really sad and pathetic looking, the sitting area (otherwise known as a couch), the television, and several other storage nooks and crannies, such as the laundry hamper I keep my (currently neglected) canvases in and the cupcake/muffin tins that hold all my buttons. Perhaps another time!

Any questions? (Other than the obvious, "KJ, are you really THAT medicated and if not, where else did all those medicine bottles come from?!")

Cheers, my lovelies, and have an awesome Thursday!

#1 (Official): We'll Miss You, Buddy

2006-07-11T00:35:11Z

Well, when I unofficially posted the Friday before last, I said that my first official post would be on Monday. Good thing I didn't specify which Monday!

Last Monday was A Sad Day.

Some of you might remember from the old journal that I had three dogs*. Goldie passed away in January and not long after, I noticed that Matt's snout (that makes him sound like a pig, but I don't know what else to call that particular body part on a dog) was a little swollen on the left side. I'm never one to make a long story short, but I'll do it now: It was cancer. He got progressively worse, but was still eating and drinking water, still wagging his tail, still running around pretty good. I'd let him go in the studio with me everyday, which he absolutely loved. Then, on Saturday (the day after my first official post), he stopped eating. He'd drink a little bit of water, but that was it. By Sunday morning, he could barely walk.

So we made the decision that we'd been dreading and Monday morning, we took him to the vet to have him put to sleep. It physically hurt me to keep my foot on the gas pedal, to keep going. I knew it would be selfish to let him suffer, but I couldn't stop thinking that I was killing him.

Well -- and I wouldn't believe this, either, had I not been there -- we got to the office and Matt died on the table, on his own, before the doctor could do anything, which was nothing short of miraculous and made things a lot easier.

I got Matty the day after my high school graduation, so he's been with me my entire adult life. Over at the studio, I keep glancing over to his spot in front of the couch and it's empty.

But today is not A Sad Day and this is not A Sad Post. He was a good dog, a best buddy, a member of the family. He was dearly loved and knew it, and he loved us just as much and I know that.

I'm grateful that I was saved from having to make that heart-wrenching choice, so grateful that it was taken out of my hands, and mostly, I'm grateful for the very long life Matt had and that I got to be his person.

We'll miss you, Big Matty Matt.

*Actually, if anyone other than Bruce remembers that, I'll be shocked to pieces.

#1 (Unofficial): Monkeying Around (or, How I Introduced Myself to Whiplash)

2006-07-01T02:23:35Z

Let's say a nice pair of tan corduroy meets a nice pair of brown corduroy pants and they fall in love and live happily ever after. What would you suppose their offspring would look like?

Well, I'll tell you. It would look something like this:

I know, I know, socks are the most popular item of clothing to use in monkey-making...but I decided to make one out of pants.

And just let me say, this is no ordinary monkey! Okay, by day, he's a regular bowtie-wearing, bespeckled businessmonkey.

But, after he clocks out of his nine-to-five?

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's SUPERMONKEY.

Pictured here with his supersnazzy mask, to conceal his real identity, of course:

And here with his even more supersnazzy cape:

And you thought flying monkeys were only in The Wizard of Oz!

This little dude was sewn completely by hand, with only needle and thread and though I've got the pinpricks in my fingers to prove it, I loved making every stitch. Oh, and it was also made without any sort of pattern. Kind of like freehand drawing, but with material and scissors.

He was originally supposed to be for my friend, The Nicest Girl on the Face of the Planet, to give to her nephew. But I'm thinking he's more of a sit-on-a-shelf-and-be-admired-by-onlookers type of monkey, than an rough-and-tumble action & adventure monkey. I mean, okay, yeah, he could save the world, if he really wanted to, but I'm not so sure whether he's up for the daily playtime with a toddler, so I'll come up with another little primate for TNGotFotP. And probably some more monkeys-in-costumes, as well.

This has been my introduction to Whiplash, brought to you by the letters K & J, The Dreamy Giraffe, pantsmonkeys everywhere, and anyone who ever wished on a star that they'd never, ever have to see me wear those corduroy pants again.

Sometime over the weekend, I'll try to get some better pictures. My digicam is a hand-me-down from my older sis and though I'm extremely grateful that she gave it to me, we have not yet learned to treat each other with dignity and respect so the results we produce aren't of a quality that makes me want to shout out "hurrah!" with pride and joy yet. (The "we" in "we have not yet learned to treat each other with dignity and respect" is me and my camera, not me and my sister, just to clarify.)

My first official entry here at pentimenti will be Monday.

Edited to Add: I just realized in a post that was an introduction, I didn't actually introduce myself. Hi! My real name is Kathy, my nickname is KJ, and you can call me whichever you like best. I also think I was supposed to say something about my crafting speciality and/or personality. I love doing anything creative, but my most used mediums are paints and colored pencils. I haven't been into making stuffed critters long enough to acquire a sewing machine. A couple of years ago, I made a little duck, to see if I could...out of silk panties. I'd been given them as a gift and wasn't ever going to wear them because though they had plenty of material to make a little duck, they did not have enough to cover my rear end in a way I like to have my rear end covered. Then I made a frog prince for my niece's nursery out of a washcloth and that worked out better than the silk duck. And so on and so forth, until I arrived here, with one Supermonkey, made of pants.