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Adventures of KJ & the Dreamy Giraffe
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| I got nudged. |
[01 Mar 2007|02:05pm] |
Actually I got nudged probably two weeks ago now and I'm sitting in my sister's bedroom, waiting on Kaylee to wake up from her nap, here at the computer.
Usually when I'm at a computer, it's mine, and there's a very long to do list nearby staring me in the face, along with about 98707343 different colors of acrylic paint and 2870782 blank canvases, all calling for me to play matchmaker and chastising me when I procrastinate by trying to read my friendlist or anything frivolous like that.
But now, there is no to do list in sight, or paints, or blank canvases, just a sleeping toddler. (Oh, adorable sleeping toddler, why do you choose to be asleep when the best aunt in the world arrives to visit you?)
So I decided to read all the 87087232 entries that all of you have written in the past however long LJ will let me go back. (Actually, I usually catch up once every other week or so, but still, that's a lot of back entries!)
And while reading, I decided, why not do a quickie update, as well?
Actually, everytime I even think about LJ, I get all guilty and other bad feelingsy because I still owe Jazz and Amanda paintings (and I SWEAR, you guys, one day, will get them). But, lo and behold, people keep paying me to do art, so those people's art somehow always jumps ahead in line, and the guilt and bad feelings grow. But it's not just you two, I swear. My mom got Kaylee a toy box for Christmas that I was supposed to paint and it's still in the box and Lisa's Christmas present hasn't even MADE it into the box yet, much less into the mail, much less to Lisa. And, yes, that's the present for the 2006 Christmas. Yikes.
The good news is, I'm trying to take some time to stop and smell the roses now and again, as they say. It seems I'm actually doing this, being an artist, for a living, now, and it's more of a marathon instead of a race or some other running analogy that would mean that there's not really a finish line and I just get to keep going and going and don't need to look for an end because I don't want to stop. This is what I want to do for the long haul. And that's how it seems to be going. So.
I don't really have anything new and exciting to share. Haven't fallen in love, haven't made any babies, haven't dropped to a size two and been asked to compete on America's Next Top Model. But I am sort of living my dream life anyway, so: One thing at a time. The rest will come.
Ooh, I did turn thirty, and managed to do it without having to take any sorts of medications for depression or anxiety.
Oops, Kayboo is waking up. Gotta run.
KJ
P.S. Thanks Bruce and Lauren for the sweet card and e-card, and Jess, for noticing that I'd been missing for quite some time.
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| I'm such a bad Livejournal-er. |
[26 Oct 2006|10:40pm] |
Once I fall off the wagon, I really fall off the wagon. Remember when I was thatkgirl and would do like three or four entries somedays?
These days, most days I feel like I have nothing of importance to share with the world and on the days I do have something of importance to share, I'm just too busy to share it.
Nothing major has changed.
I have a monstrous headache, the kind with nausea. We went to Redbone for the first time in probably two months and the thought of my beloved Mexican Pizza Dip made my stomach cry. So no Mexican Pizza Dip was consumed. And going to Redbone without Mexican Pizza Dip is like the episodes of 90210 without Dylan. It can be done, but really, not so enjoyable.
Speaking of Dylan -- and this doesn't make any sense -- though I have this monstrous headache, I have iTunes playing "Nobody Knows Me" (you know, that Lyle Lovett song that plays after Toni gets killed?) and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody on the television at the same time, both with the volume fairly loud, because obviously with nausea, these sorts of headaches bring impaired judgement. I've never watched this show before and it makes me weep for 2001 when the Disney Channel actually had programs that were, you know, good.
Also, at lunch, The Nicest Girl on the Face of the Planet turned to me and asked, "So, are you dating anyone?"
She asked this with a straight face. Which sort of made me wonder if it's been so long since she's seen me that she thought I was someone else altogether.
Of course, the conversation topic before that line of questioning was He Who Shall Not Be Named in This Here New & Improved Journal, so, um. Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that.
Except who would have ever thought I'd ever get to hear that He Who Shall Not Be Named said "she hasn't called me back" where, y'know, I'm the she.
Life is weird.
In unrelated events, last week, I got asked out by a seventeen year old.
These things could only happen to you, says TNGotFotP.
Yeah, this has made no sense. See: headache, nausea, impaired judgement, with a little PMS thrown in for good measure.
Plus, you know, I'm such a bad Livejournal-er, I haven't posted in so long, I've forgotten how to do it properly.
And curses, I've got to have a three page short story written by tomorrow.
Blast.
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| #17.5: Tight squeeze. |
[04 Oct 2006|08:28pm] |
Perhaps "I'm going to update everyday" is a wee bit too ambitious for this particular time in my life.
I'll do the best I can, and when I'm done with the teaching gig, I will go daily.
For these next few weeks, I have the drive and determination to conquer every little item on my to-do list, but there are only so many hours in the day, man. Trying to get everything I want to get done in the time I have to get it done is a bit like trying to fit my thighs into size two pants. It'd be divine, but: not happening.
This is the last time I'm going to say it, but truly: Jazz, Amanda, I've not forgotten about you, and Bramblerose, you WILL get the story I promised, too.
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[03 Oct 2006|07:50pm] |
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It's been almost a month since I updated. Well, I updated the Friday before last, and you may've seen that entry if you happened to be perusing your flist within five minutes of my posting it, but probably not because I went back and privated it v. v. fast. Because it was a Ye Olde ThatKGirl Emotional Volcano Eruption/Spewfest and these days, I save that drama for my momma. (Chrissues, OH NOES!) But from now on, I'm updating daily. Erm. I'm going to make a real effort to update daily. But this once-a-day thing was supposed to start yesterday and I had good intentions but then I got one of the phone calls. You know, the phone calls that go like this: Caller: What are you doing right now? You: Um, eating? To Do List (heard only by you, as one of those inside-your-head voiceovers): DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! PLEASE, OH, PLEASE, THIS CALLER PERSON IS GOING TO TRY TO DRAG YOU AWAY FROM ME. PLEASE DON'T LET THEM! I'M CO-DEPENDENT! Caller: What are you doing after you eat? You (stalling, because you can't say I'm striking off number 289707892734 on my to-do lists without sounding like you care more about your to-do list than the caller): Um...um...um.... Caller: I need some moral support. To Do List: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, YOU'RE LEAVING ME! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T GOOOOOOOOOOOO. You: (still stalling): Um...er...well... Caller: I really kind of need to talk. You (because you are a good friend): Okay. Let me finish dinner and I'll call you back. And you (you being me, of course) are such a good friend indeed you wolf down aforementioned dinner at such a breakneck speed, you come so close to choking yourself to death you can still feel the dang noodle stuck in your throat three hours later. For real. So, it was, of course, a Boy Issue, because the only time anyone ever asks me for advice is when some sort of penised-individual is involved and as I asked She Whom Shall Be Referred to as "Caller" for the Intents and Purposes of this LJ Entry Only, "Why do you call the most cynical single person on the face of the planet for L-O-V-E advice?" That makes no sense to me. Which brings me to the only advice I, the most cynical single person on the face of the planet can give you about boys (not love and not romantic relationships because on those topics I got nada and don't really want any, either): Don't try to figure out why they've done what they've done. Just don't. Actually, that wise bit could apply to females, too. You won't get inside someone else's head and trying to make everything mean something will drive you straight to Crazyville. Mi madre kindly suggested that I have a "free counselling session with purchase" sale in the shop. But, really, I got some free doughnut holes out of the deal, so I can't complain too much. (And if I was going to complain it would be about the fact that the doughnut holes aren't exactly on the list of foods one should eat while one is trying to lose weight, as I am, but you know, it didn't occur to me at the time to say, "I'm happy to have you repay me for yanking me out of the comforting arms of my to-do list with foods, but could we please go by Wendy's instead of Krispy Kreme so I can have a garden salad, no dressing, instead?" Besides Tina Yothers said that eating a hamburger isn't the end of the world, diet-wise, you just need to do more exercise that day and that's that...and she should know, what with having done Celebrity Fit Club and all.) Actually, this entry was supposed to be written this morning, as well, but then the toaster oven kind of caught on fire. And here's another tip of the day: Don't eat a waffle that's been cooked over an open flame, because it will not taste good. I was supposed to udpate about the turtle, and myspace being evil and such. But all that was three weeks ago -- and three weeks that each seem like a lifetime, at that. Do you know what I've been doing and what I'll be doing for the next two and a half weeks? Teaching. Teaching HIGH SCHOOL. And my darling little Kaylee turned one year old. She loves music and dances whenever any is played, is strangely mesmerized by any commercials for medications and gets this big, adorable grin on her face when she sees Snook from A Big, Big World (a PBS show that doesn't have any merchandise available!). So Aunt KJ painted her a scene from A Big, Big World for her birthday: 
There are only seventeen precious minutes until Gilmore Girls* and my to-do list is very bloated and whiny, crying out for me to strike at least one more item off before 8:00, so I must bid you adieu. But I will be back tomorrow! *I cannot be the only one that wants to smack Lorelai. And in other television show outrage, Kelton CANNOT DIE.
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| We now interrupt this journal for a brief but important opinion: |
[10 Sep 2006|03:01pm] |
Myspace is evil.
I will expound on this subject later.
[hugs lj]
Okay, I just have to add:
EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL.
I wasn't even TRYING to get myself in trouble. Everyone's all oh, you need a Myspace for your art, you need a Myspace for your art.
So I created a freaking Myspace for my freaking art.
And I won't even get into the rest of the story, but Myspace IS evil.
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| Is this #16 or #17?: Maybe Numbering Is Too Advanced For KJ |
[08 Sep 2006|11:08am] |
I feel rotten. Just weird and un-alert and groggy and foggy and like I've just woken up, but I've been awake since 5:00 a.m. I think it would help if I had someone to thump me on the head and say, "Girl, pull it together, you've got Too Much To Do." But, alas I'm home alone (faceslap and scream insertion here).
Question for the masses: Why is jelly on toast a pretty normal thing to eat, yet the idea of jelly on plain bread (by itself) is disgusting to me?
Also, just in case you didn't know: Turtle poop is disgusting.
I have so much to do.
But I really just kind of want to take a nap.
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| #15: Adventures in Turtle-Sitting (& Various Interactions with Friends) |
[08 Sep 2006|07:50am] |
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Wednesday Night: (Paraphrased Excerpt From) Instant Message Conversation With Friend Me: I'm turtle sitting. Friend: Who has a turtle? Me: Apparently, I do. Friend: You're not sitting it if it's yours. Me: It's only temporarily staying here. Our very stupid dog was carrying it around in the yard, in his mouth, like it was a ball and we were playing a game of catch and I had to chase him all around and rescue the turtle. And now I'm nursing it back to health. Well, I'm watching it back to health. Well, I'm actually just waiting to see whether or not it's dead, and if it's not dead, I will release it back to nature, preferably to a part of nature where Buddy can't reptilenap him again. I really don't think he's dead. Just traumatized. End (Paraphrased Excerpt From) Instant Message Conversation With Friend This was not a little turtle, either. Here's a picture of the turtle: Though you can't really tell how not little he was. I suppose I should have laid out a tape measure next to him, but one never thinks of doing such clever things until it's too late. I did, indeed, return him to the wild last night, as he proved to be Just Fine, and I don't want to traumatize him further by hunting him down and taking him hostage again so that we can recreate the photo shoot, with a tape measure. I mean, it could not have been fun to be trapped between those gigantic elephantdog teeth while said elephant trounced around the yard, full speed ahead. Especially since when elephantdog trounes about, he likes to shake his head from side to side like he's attempting to sling his brain out of his ears. And yay! I have lights SuperUncle came and fixed the problem and also brought me a 12" miter box and saw. Friend, mentioned above, asked me, "What are you going to do with a saw?" and I don't think I ever answered her, so, here is your answer Friend: I'm GOING TO CUT THINGS UP! Duh. Thursday Morning: (Excerpt From) Telephone Conversation with Friend Friend: "Hi, I just wanted to tell you I'm not dead." Me: "Okay, well, I'll stop mourning, then." End (Excerpt From) Telephone Conversation with Friend Second yay: Friend was calling to give me some Very Good News Indeed (more on that in another entry). Thursday Afternoon: (Excerpt from) E-mail from a Friend: Also saw your ad in She. Nice big one. End (Excerpt From) E-Mail from a Friend The Dreamy Giraffe has its very first print ad, y'all! Hurrah! I'll scan it in and post it when I get a copy of the magazine. But, as a sidenote, if you've not talked to someone in so long you think they might think you've gone dead? That's probably a bit too long to have gone without talking to them. But it is always good, if you've gone that long without talking to someone, to call them up with Very Good News Indeed. Edited to Add: I have gotten the opportunity to recreate the photoshoot with Mr. Turtle. Because Buddy had him again last night. And again this morning. And the little dude is still alive and kicking, it would seem. However, it's not even 8 a.m. and I can't have a photoshoot this earling in the morning, but I did get out the measuring tape and give you these accurate dimensions: Mr. Turtle is almost six inches long and five inches wide. And I feel like I'm in a tunnel. I can't wake up this morning. WAKE UP, ME! (I said no more entries about You-Know-What and I meant it, but I have to slip in here: She did it to herself.) And that's all I got.
(Those are, by the way, three different friends, just for clarificationy purposes.)
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| (Unlucky) #13: Thomas E., where are you, dude? |
[06 Sep 2006|05:28am] |
This will be the last entry about Big Brother ever. I promise and swear. (By "ever", you guys know I meant this season, right?)
So, last night, with a forboding knot in the pit of my stomach, at 8:00 o'clock, the television was turned on, turned to CBS and Big Brother came on.
All went swimmingly until the first commercial, when I made the grievous mistake of deciding to go to my bedroom and get 2.2 minutes of work done. This is why they probably tell us not to mix business with pleasure, kids. Because: Things go awry.
I flipped the lightswitch. There was a pop, or a hiss, or some other ungood noise -- I'm not great with the onomotapaiea, so your smartsmartsmart brain will just have to conjure up an approrpiate sound effect, for this particular scene in KJ's Big Home Movie, please. I should probably add, just for detail, to help you along, that it sounded a bit like a lightbulb blowing out.
Only. Both lightbulbs blew out.
And no new lightbulbs would rectify the situation. Meaning that something is either wrong with the switch or the fixtury-thing, which is just not not not something that has me jumping for joy, because have I mentioned that I don't have any windows in my bedroom? So it's like being in a big black abyss, with a computer screen floating in front of me, and I don't want to be a Whiny Girl -- but it's starting to give me a bit of a headache.
Anyway, as I was quite verklempt about this whole in-the-dark thing, and wasn't really watching anyway, I decided to tape Big Brother and try to call my uncle, who knows how to fix these sorts of things (at least, I hope). About twenty some odd minutes later, I still hadn't gotten ahold of him, so I thought it would be a pretty smart thing to go ahead and turn Big Brother back on, because really, what could I have missed? And what little I DID miss in those twenty some odd minutes, I could go back and watch at nine.
WELL. When I turn the darn television on, what do I see? What do I see right before my very verklempt own eyes?
( SPOILER )
There'll be another entry momentarily for all of you, but especially those of you who don't watch Big Brother and don't care about such trivial nonsense.
And then I'm off to party like it's 1899.
KJ Loves You (But NOT Being In The Dark)
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| #12: The formatting is awful I know. |
[05 Sep 2006|07:59pm] |
And I swear I'll fix it as soon as I have, you know, LIGHTS in my room. If I were the kind of girl who swore and threw things, words and objects would be flying right now.
Question: What do Justin Timberlake, Big Brother, and the Biggest Dog Ever have in common?
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| #11: My Favorite Number |
[31 Aug 2006|07:30pm] |
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Sunday through yesterday, I was in Charlotte visiting my favorite almost-one-year-old in the whole wide universe, or I would've updated sooner. I can't imagine having kids of my own and I don't know if my heart could take it. My heart just feels so big when I think of that little girl, I don't see how it would be possible to love someone anymore without it just bursting. She dances now, and is going to start walking any second, and her little giggle...sigh...Mush, mush. Love, love, love my little Kaylee-bird. ( Onto the promised: )
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| #10: Meet Miss Cleo & Mr. Clyde... |
[23 Aug 2006|09:38am] |
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This has got to be the most unLively Livejournal in the history of Livejournals. I update on Thursday and then before I can blink, it's Wednesday. Wednesday! I could write an entry a day, but they'd all read like this: 5:00 Got up 5:00 - 7:00 Did Computery Work 7:00 - 9:30 Worked Out, Ate Breakfast, Fed Bumper & The Beast, Got Ready 9:30 - 12:30 Worked in the Studio 12:30 - 1:00 Lunch 1:00 - 6:00 Worked in the Studio 6:00 - 8:00 More Computery Work 8:00 - 10:00 Various Television Programming, Depending on Which Day It Is The exceptions are: If it's Friday, I'm probably running errands and/or having lunch with the girls; If it's Sunday, I typically don't do anything productive until after 1:30 or so; and the once or twice a month we go see Kaylee, The Adorablest Almost One Year Old Ever, for a day or two. And yes, "Computery Work" does include all internetting, but in my defense, most of it is business-related. Ooh, and throw in various five minute intervals here and there for worrying about money. See? Boring. I may have to start bungee jumping or rock climbing or swimming with alligators once a week to spice it up. But here's something sort of cool I've been working on...  ( Sneak a peek... ) Thanks to all of you beautiful people who threw out an opinion and helped me out on Thursday. The Super!Monkey is now in his new home, where I've just learned he has been officially named Peaches. Later: Some Cool Stuff Going On with Me, Some Cool Stuff for You Guys, KJ & The Dreamy Giraffe's Tip of the Day (In Lieu of Personal Gripes Delivered Ad Nauseum ala ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) thatkgirl, and Why I Feel Like I'm Stuff Stuck in an Episode of Clifford the Big Red Dog. Have a lovely Wednesday, kids!
ETA: Goodness, the typos.
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| #9: Evil Doctors, My Not-So-Evil Twin, Twin Dogs & Inspirational Teachers |
[14 Aug 2006|08:18pm] |
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I tried to write this entry 5000 times (approximately) and it was very yawnworthy all 5000 of those times, so I decided to spice it up a bit, by writing it as a fairy tale. So it might not make a whole lot of sense. And I'm not really a princess! 
one: Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a princess named KJ. One day, Princess KJ, while surfing the internet on the royal computer, innocently perused messageboards, as she did quite frequently. This day, in particular, she found herself at the Etsy forums and things were going swimmingly, until suddenly Princess KJ shrieked, which brought the attention of all the court security guards. Why, Your Royal Highness, what ever is the matter? Did you see a mouse? Do you feel faint? they asked, worriedly. Princess KJ pointed at the 1001 inch monitor (because could you really expect a mere 19 inch one in a castle, for Pete's sake?), where, as big as life, was a picture of...Princess KJ...as someone else's avatar! The king and queen's advisor was brought in, to weigh in on the situation, to offer advice as to what should be done to rectify the wrongdoing. Should the villian using Princess KJ image for their own evil purposes be drawn and quartered? Or merely thrown into the dungeon? Beg pardon, Princess, the advisor, a sage old man with eyes as sharp as a tack, said, But that is not you in the picture. Note that she wears no crown and also, her hairstyle has no fringe. The Princess tilted her head right and left, and left and right, and said, Perhaps you are right! No, no, you ARE right. That isn't me. There was much concern that maybe the Princess had a twin, stolen at birth by the evil doctor*, unbeknownst to the King and Queen, and spirited away to live life as a commoner. But upon further research in the castle's library, it was found that indeed, this girl, nearly identical to the Princess in countenance, was a total stranger named Tanja, born several years before Princess KJ in a foreign land** and now living in New York City. "But, but, but," Princess KJ sputtered, "That girl has my face." Princess KJ felt much better after the Far Away Land - Big Apple liason put her in touch with this similar-appearanced lass and the two spoke and Princess KJ found her to be quite lovely, in personality as well as face***. * Not the same evil doctor in Three. ** Germany! I was so thrown off when I first saw the picture, I told my mom, "She's from German! She's from German!" *** Hee. two: At another time, in the same far away land, Princess KJ was resting in her royal sleeping quarters when the Queen cried for her to come quickly, that there were two USC's (Unidentified Swimming Canines), romping about in the moat. Princess KJ, quite the animal lover, ran out, to the happy surprise: One of the USC's bore a striking resemblance to the dearly departed, much beloved court pooch, Matt. In fact, though still a pup, this animal was just as much Matty's twin, in looks, as Tanja was to Princess KJ! The animal and his companion, a beautiful Chocolate labrador, were friendly and loving and it was decided that they would make wonderful court pooches. A kingdom-wide celebration was planned and the animals were bestowed with the names Bonnie and Clyde. The Princess loved them instantly. Sadly, and some times sad things do happen in fairy tales, as you are all aware, the kingdom crier, came 'round the next morn, shouting, "Hear ye, hear ye!", and upon gaining everyone's attention, announced that a notice had just been sent forth from the Duke of Springville, a kingdom a hop, skip and a jump away from Princess KJ's, that his court pooches, one Chocolate labrador and one black labrador, had taken off in the night, and begged for their return. Being a fair princess, though it hurt her verily, Princess KJ returned Bonnie & Clyde, also known as Cocoa and Pepper, to their rightful home. And though it's frowned upon for a royal to utter such unpleasantries, Princess KJ did say, under her breath, "What a stupid name Pepper is for a little boy dog!" three: An even longer time ago, one of Princess KJ's dearest confidants, The Nicest Girl in the Whole Entire Kingdom, urged Princess KJ to submit her artwork for publication in one of the kingdom's publicatoins, a monthly women's magazine that featured a different painting on the cover every month. Oh, no, Princess KJ protested, again and again, before finally giving in and sending some of her work to the magazine's editor, who telephone to say that she would like Princes KJ to do a painting for an upcoming cover! This may seem unfair to you, you know, as if Princess KJ had an unfair advantage, being royal and all, because, realistically, had the editor said you have the talent of a rotting potato!, that could have been considered treason and Princess KJ could have had her beheaded. However, the editor did not knowthat Princess KJ was a princess at all, she thought she was just a regular old commoner. So Princess KJ did the cover in October 2005, and that was wonderful and unbelievable, and then she was asked to do the February and April covers as well, which was even more wonderful and unbelievable. Then Princess KJ fell under an evil spell in which all of her paintbrushes fell right out of her fingers when she tried to pick one up! She could not paint to save her life! What shall I do? she wailed. Then the telephone rang, and it was the editor, asking if Princess KJ would possibly do a cover for August's issue. Princess KJ, though unable to paint, said, Yes, of course! And she picked up her paintbrush and found the evil spell broken. (That is the August cover of She! and I've been asked to do January as well. It may be unPrincessly of me, but let me just jump and shout a little! Ooh, and in next month's issue, here's going to be an add for The Dreamy Giraffe.) Four: WARNING: This brings us to a very, very scary part of our tale, a part so horrifying, it should not be heard by children at all and the faint of heart should be held closely by a loved one so to be protected from too badly a fright. In the castle, there is a magical viewing screen, which allows the princess to view what is going on elsewhere in the world. One of her favorite times to watch is on Sunday, Tuesdays, and Thursdays when the screen shows what is going on in a house full of commoners in California. One day, while watching, Princess KJ began to grin everytime one of the commoners was shown. But this commoner was a villian, an evil doctor*, and Princess KJ knew that she should not be grinning when her gaze fell upon him. Yet, she did. Now, a wordly, poised princesses do not get the thing commoners call a 'crush', and they especially do not get these 'crushes' on non-royals. And this evil doctor was NO prince, though he was certainly charming. And thus Princess KJ grinned and grinned and grinned**. Until one day, an evil villian (not to be confused with the evil doctor) named DirecTv robbed the castle of their access to certain channels on the magical viewing screen. The channels with the people who won the lottery, the channel with another doctor who is McDreamy, and the channel with the evil doctor. This happened on a Thursday, which was quite upsetting to the Princess, because that was one of the days that she got to watch the lottery people, Dr. McDreamy, and the evil doctor. It was all she could do not to throw herself to the castle floor and tear her clothes and wail, "B-b-b-ut I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT MY EVERY-OTHER-DAILY DOSE OF THE EVIL DOCTOR!" But she showed restraint. She did not throw herself to the castle floor, she did not tear her clothes, she did not wail. She merely whimpered inside, as a refined royal does. Fortunately, after the Queen threatened to slap DirecTv around a little if he didn't back the freak off, the magical viewing screen was restored to its normal state and Princess KJ got to her every-other-daily dose of the evil doctor***. And they all lived happily ever after. * goddessisa asked me if everyone calls him Evil Dr. Will or just me, at which point I pointed her to Google where you can search "Evil Dr. Will" and find approximately 98798732 links, none of which come from my website, which is www.thedreamygiraffe.com. **It ISN'T a crush. I swear. It's more of a fascination. No, that's not right either. An enjoyment. There, that's better. *** I like not-evil doctors, too, like the ones on Grey's. Though I really like Burke better than McDreamy.
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| #8: I'm not a complainer. I just must speak up when things go awry. |
[14 Aug 2006|06:58pm] |
After waiting what seemed like, oh, 500 years for inkjetmall.com to ship out my order, and being delighted to learn this morning that finally, at long last, my package would arrive this very day: The UPS truck just drove right by my house.
Drove. By. My. House.
Outrage!
If I weren't wearing a very unbecoming pair of black and white baggy capri pajama pants, with a hideous palm tree pattern, with hair that air dried*, and nary a stich of make-up on my face, I would have gotten in my car and chased after him, and you know, what in that brown truck, he wouldn't have been difficult to follow.
Oh, and goddessisa is all: You were supposed to update Friday and you didn't, blah blah blah in that lovely nudgey best friend way, so, even though she seems to be the only one that doesn't know by now when I say Friday, I mean Tuesday, that update is to soon to come.
You know, right after I rewash my hair so I can fix it properly, slap on some make-up, change clothes, and go on a mad UPSdude hunt.
If he's reading this: You're on my list, buddy. And also: Bring me my paper!
Also also: My intro-net is being very slow, though I can't find a way to blame that on UPSdude, as it is all my fault, because I thought it a wise idea to try to download one of Tim Gunn's podcasts using AOL dial-up. By the time it's actually finished and I can listen to it, old age will have set in and I will have lost my memory and be like, "Who is Tim Gunn and why does he keep telling me to make it work?"
In the good news: Got a LOT done today. Whoo! Twenty-five paintings ready to be turned into prints, which of course, only brings us full circle to the ugly fact that a certain brown truck is holding my paper hostage.
Free KJ's paper! Donna Martin graduates!
* I do not have the sort of hair that you can air dry without looking like one of the Brady boys.
Edited to Add: The braniacs at inkjetmall.com put the wrong address on my package. And now it will be this time Wednesday before I have my package. The hilarity is our normal UPSdude, who lives in our neighborhood and is aware that I indeed live at 661, not 660, which doesn't exist, regardless of what the branaic who shipped the package wrote on the package, had today off. So, had this package been delivered any other day, there would not have been any problem at all. But, of course, we are in an alternate universe known as KJ's World, where, snafus are like magnets and I'm a freakin' Frigidaire. However you spell it.
Wheh, woe is me. (I originally typed whoa is me, hello Joey Russo.)
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| #7: Evil Doctors, My Not-So-Evil Twin, Twin Dogs & Inspirational Teachers Teaser |
[10 Aug 2006|07:14pm] |
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These are the topics for tomorrow's update, kids. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's supposed to be today's update, but I'm having a stomach...thing right now that's making it incredibly uncomfortable for me to sit here, and impossible for me to sit here and write something that doesn't read like...like...like something that's not amusing at all. So, tomorrow, it shall be, if I'm not, you know, at some sort of hospitalish place, having someone poke and prod me to figure out whether or not I'm actually pregnant with a baby hippo. Please wish on every star you see that I'm not pregnant with a baby hippo, that I don't have an enlarged internal organ, or anything else going on inside my belly that would require me to spend large sums of money on medical treatment. I don't have large sums of money to spend on medical treatment, though, to (credit to Miss Lisa from coming up with THIS phrasing) be honest, I wouldn't mind letting a certain dermatologist check me over for bumpy moles (but only if it was a free consultation). I didn't just admit that. I'm not well! Keep in mind I'm not well. (And, yeah, pray it's just gas.) I didn't say that either. In fact, I wasn't even here today, you saw none of this, you read none of this. In fact, when I post tomorrow, comment and accuse me of being a rotten, slacking liar, 'cause I aid I'd update again today and didn't.
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| #6: That Dreaded Left Eye |
[09 Aug 2006|04:51pm] |
Oh, my. I haven't updated in...weeks. How'd that happen? I'm fairly sure July only had 21 days, instead of the customary 31.
Okay, so that Guess What Part of a Painting KJ Hates Doing Contest...no one got it, though some people came close. Applause, applause! I was going to give further hints, but since saying anything else would have pretty much out and out given it away.
Anyway, I said: If no one guesses correctly, for the first two people who guess, I will make a less time-consuming (probably a drawing or collage) piece of art for you.
The first and second to chime in were jasmines97 and makemeabeliever, so girls, let me know what you'd like your drawing or collage to be of. You can comment here, or e-mail me at kj@thedreamygiraffe.com and we'll come up with your lovely prize.
Oh, and the correct answer is the title of this entry.
Further explanation?
( Yes, please... )
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| #5: Find me a deodorant that can beat this heat. |
[19 Jul 2006|03:49pm] |
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It is so hot either I'm crying about it or my eyeballs are actually sweating. And my air conditioner is making a noise that I'm almost positive is a dead-on impersonation of a choking moose, which cannot be a good thing. Of course, being a (Late) Fall/Winter Girl, the only good things, in my very humble opinion, about summer are fresh blueberries and Big Brother, both of which I would gladly sacrifice to have it be December all year round. I mean, you can buy canned blueberries at any grocery store and honestly do any of us really need Julie Chen in our lives three times a week? And! It's storming! This art-free, complaintfest of a post is brought to you by humidity, July in South Carolina, and a girl who really doesn't like her eyeballs to sweat. Much love!
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| #4: Painter's Block |
[18 Jul 2006|04:46pm] |
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Yesterday, it was like I had a magic paintbrush. I finished two paintings, both of which I loved. But today, it's like: Little girl, stop kidding yourself, and get thee back to the law firm. I keep trying all day, despite the fact that everything was just coming out all wrong, and all I have to show for it is a bunch of half-painted faces and the nice beginnings of a headache. That sounded v. v. v. whiny. I'm not being whiny, I promise! ( I swear I could paint twenty-four hours ago! )
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| #3: You can do it, put your brain into it! |
[18 Jul 2006|06:53am] |
I love painting and drawing. I do. This time, last year, everyday was all "ahhhhhhhhhhh! ack! oh, noes! uuuuuuuuugggggggggggggh, phoooooooooooooooey, whoa is me!"* in terms of on-the-job stress and now when I work, I can wear whatever I want**, I can talk as much as I want***, I can even have old episodes of MMC playing in the background, if I want****. Of course, I'm not getting paid the big bucks***** like I was back then, but sooner or later, I think I've discovered, life's gotta stop being 95% percent about planning for the future and 5% doing what makes you happy now. You've got to find a better balance, or at least I did. Not to say life's all fun and games. I'm working harder than I was at that law firm that shall remain nameless, longer hours, and the immediate rewards do not include a steady paycheck or someone else paying the bulk cost of my health insurance, but I am so lucky to be able to do this. Right now. Right now, I have enough to get by, to make ends meet, to pay my bills. If that changes in the future and I have to do something else, get a part-time (or even a full-time) job to supplement, then I am certainly go to do so. But right now, I'm just trying to be fearless and get this done and put my heart and soul into it so it can last. But even if it can't and doesn't, even if I do have to go back to the 9-to-5 working for the man thing, I'll still be doing this every available waking hour, and I'll know that, if nothing else, I had a wonderful, amazing year to be an artist and nothing else******.
I'm trying to appreciate this more and realize how remarkable and amazing it is that something I've always wanted to do*******: I'm doing.
But that's not the point of this entry. The point of this entry is...dunh dunh dunh da! It's Audience Particpation Time!
I love painting and drawing, but...there is one part of my paintings and drawings that I absolutely dread doing. I don't know why, either, but I always try to put it off as long as I can. The first person who can guess correctly what that is will get their very own custom KJ painting. Whatever you like, let's say, on an 8" X 8" canvas. If no one guesses correctly, for the first two people who guess, I will make a less time-consuming (probably a drawing or collage) piece of art for you. Yay! (Yay?) So, guess your little hearts out, all, oh, what's the flist up to now? Two? :)
* Do you need actual examples? I'll be happy to give them!
** Somedays, I even just go over to the studio in my pajamas!
*** Although intelligent conversation isn't really possible, as there's really no one around to talk to but myself.
**** There's no cable in the studio, so I have to rely on a) the tempermental cd player or b) VHS tapes! for background noise. It's a good thing I have 3897078123 (approximately) video tapes. Yesterday while I painted, I listened to Friends, Brotherly Love, and a whole buncha other stuff.
***** Hmm. HA!
****** Well, not NOTHING else. I mean, the (jokingly) new slogan for my little cottage industry is, "The Dreamy Giraffe can paint you a picture, write you a story, chauffer you around, edit your paper, fix your electronics, sell your antiques on eBay for you, cut your hair and babysit your kid...but can absolutely not, never ever, solve your relationship problems." Or something similar. And, yes, there is someone on this planet who actually let me, nay, insisted I cut their hair.
******* I have been FOILED. I was sure that in that list I did in the old journal, cleverly entitled 101 Things I Want To Do In My Life, I'd put down "have my own artsy/craftsy business". Well, no, it's not there. But all of these goals are present and accounted for, and I think they pretty much cover it: 42. Be my own boss. 29. Have a fully stocked craft room in my home. 31. Get a job I love. 41. Stop letting fear hold me back. 37. Stop procrastinating. 60. Get really good at drawing. 76. Stop talking and start doing.
Not that I'd call myself "really good at drawing", but I have improved. I know that somewhere I listed "have my own artsy/craftsy business" as a goal and I searched the journal to see where it was but found 90something entries with "business" in them and I cannot go through 90something entries at this moment in time to prove that I am right.
But I guess I do need to consider number 90, on that list, which is "Always come up with new dreams, to take place of the ones that come true."
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